Devil Tots: Delicious, but potentially deadly.
Many of you might have seen that I was (finally) Freshly Pressed last Saturday! I have to say, I was pretty sure that the Land of the Pressed was somewhere far, far away and somewhere that I would likely never be invited to, but then, there it was in my email! “Congratulations!” And then I peed my pants. (I don’t remember if I ACTUALLY peed my pants, but I am currently 30 weeks pregnant and never really redeveloped any pelvic floor muscles after Baby L so it is safe to assume that I probably did.) Anyway, it was super exciting and WOW! What a ride.
I want to first thank all of the newbies who stopped by and/or started following! I have to apologize in advance for my foul language, probable impropriety, and, last but not least, my tendency to talk about my bodily functions with way too much detail (please see pelvic floor muscle comment above). Chances are, you may have already witnessed some of this, if you looked around a bit, and maybe aren’t offended or scared off, but if this is the first you’ve heard of it, don’t say I didn’t warn you guys. I’m most likely gonna tell y’all ALL about the state of my vagina on more than one occasion.
Moving on…
So, to celebrate/commemorate my invitation into The Land of the Pressed, I got the stomach bug from hell and dropped my iPhone into the toilet while simultaneously vomiting. Because, you know, if you’re gonna do something, you gotta really DO it. I’m not going to get into all the nasty I endured during this time (you’re welcome), but I will tell you that OH. MY. GOD, internet, I have never been so sick in my entire life. I may or may not have vomited into Baby L’s toy drum (a bath toy) because I have (evidently) lost my ability to vomit WITHOUT SIMULTANEOUSLY PEEING. (See pelvic floor comment above. Again, don’t say I didn’t warn you.) Because I have had four (FOUR!) of these “stomach bugs” since I became pregnant with Baby O, I am starting to suspect that this is his way of telling me that he hates tater tots. I know, that sounds weird. But literally, EVERY time I have gotten violently ill like this in the last several months, tater tots were involved. They will be called “Devil Tots” from here on out. So, I have, between trying to be a mom and a pregnant lady and trying to recover from this horrible illness (“Devil Tot Syndrome”), I have been out of commission. I haven’t responded to all of your lovely comments or had time to give them all of the attention that they deserve. So, I’m sorry. And I’m on it.
Bear with me, newbies, and don’t think I don’t appreciate you. I’ve just been busy trying not to pee on myself.
Broken Condoms 
Oh dear. I feel for you!! When I was pregnant with my second baby I got a stomach bug and I slept in the floor of my in laws VERY tiny bathroom. On towels. It was horrible!! And with two kids, I pee my self just about every time I sneeze, laugh, cough, hiccup…. I guess it goes back to the pelvic floor muscles?
But I hope you feel better soon!!
Oh dear. I feel for you!! When I was pregnant with my second baby I got a stomach bug and I slept in the floor of my in laws VERY tiny bathroom. On towels. It was horrible!! And with two kids, I pee my self just about every time I sneeze, laugh, cough, hiccup…. I guess it goes back to the pelvic floor muscles?
But I hope you feel better soon!!
Sorry for the weird double comment but I didn’t realize I wasn’t logged in until after I posted the first one. And then I kinda got confused…. Lol
As a soon-to-be mother of TWO, I think you deserve a break from answering your comments. We’ll be here ;D Feel better soon!
Congrats on pressed! That’s awesome. And sorry about the barfing. I’ve been considering pregnancy number 2 but ohhhhh god the barfing… maybe not… 😉
Thank you! And don’t let my barfing influence your decision, because this barfing has not been your every day pregnancy barfing. This barfing is punishment for all of the bad things I have ever done in my entire life. I’m pretty sure that Baby O only had influence on the simultaneous peeing thing. Go ahead, get yourself knocked up, lady! Lol
Congrats on pressed and sorry about your bug… I’m not sure what a tater tot is but its being noted not to try them! Get well soon
Thank you! Well, normally I would tell you that you should absolutely eat tater tots because they are toasty, potato goodness. Under the circumstances, though, and if you are pregnant, you might want to steer clear if you do come across them!
Have you considered sweet potato tots? I have the same reaction (currently pregnant with number 2) to all nightshade foods while pregnant. Sweet potatoes hopefully won’t give you the same alkaloid reaction that potatoes do!
Wait, really?! Not just me?! Amazing! I honestly hadn’t even put it together tht it could be the tots until today. And then I had an “a-ha moment”. I think it might be the combination of the grease and the potato though because I’ve had no other issues with any other variation. Which is good, because oh my god, how could I live without potatoes?! I will definitely try the sweet potato tots though, next time I get the hankering! Thanks! And good to know I’m not alone!
evil tots. evil little nasty bitches. yeah, they crossed me once too. F#&*ing tots… bastards…
HAPPY “PRESSED” THOUGH!!
Congrats on being “pressed” that is awesome! Your posts always make me laugh out loud!
Oh, you poor thing! Throwing up is awful, and worse when you’re pregnant and have a small one on the outside, too!
On another note, I had to laugh when I read what the Devil Tots was referring to. I just assumed you were talking about a child XD I guess perhaps I’m just the only person who talks about her children in demonic terms!
Well done on being freshly pressed, well deserved, I loved discovering you! Make sure you do pelvic floor exercises, it gets worse unfortunately, not better & you are too young to be wearing nappies! Also, as a byproduct your hubby will appreciate it 😉
Congratulations on becoming ‘freshly pressed’, uou derserve it! Not only are your posts entertaining but they are entirely realistic. I love how brutal and honest you are! You have a new fan here! X
** You (stupid iPhone)