I thought, as a newly-pregnant, terrified thirty-something, that the best way to document my journey through this body take-over would be to start a blog. I have a wonderful, supportive boyfriend husband who is uber-excited about the prospect of becoming a father (for the second time in just over a year) but who is beginning, I think, to understand that this journey is not going to be a fun one. I will use this blog as a vessel to express all of the disgusting, frustrating, confusing, and probably sometimes beautiful things surrounding the phenomena of growing a HUMAN BEING inside my body (AGAIN!). Enjoy!
Updated!
And now for my next trick: I will attempt baby number 2 in the span of exactly 54 weeks! Shit’s about to get really, really real!
Broken Condoms 
I love the name of your blog! Good luck with growing your human being!
Ha! I just read your first post, and it was familiar on so many levels. I had a similar experience a little earlier in life (at 24, in fact, on my birthday), and did not have the awesome domestic partner (so lucky you. trust me), and I laughed. Good luck with things. And know that it’ll eventually seem less disgusting, even if it isn’t. ❤
Thank you so much! It is so good to know that there are women out there who, at least at first, didn’t think this was all unicorns and gumdrops!
Love your blog. I actually find it quite fascinating to read the accounts of a woman who never really wanted children. I know so many people “trying” and “crying” and all the drama that comes with wanting to be preggo but not being preggo… just wishing for gumdrops and unicorns 🙂
I love your sense of humor and sarcasm. I’m going to follow your blog. I’m totally interested in how it all turns out. Hopefully good. Your posts about lowering anxiety and maybe even things to look forward to are inspiring 🙂
We all get faced with insane challenges, dealing with the stuff we LEAST wanted to ever deal with. I guess that’s how the world works. Hell, my husband is turning into a woman. Totally awesome. There’s some sarcasm for ya.
Thank you so much for your support and I am following your blog as well, I find what you are going through fascinating and have so much respect for you and your husband. I will definitely be following along on your journey and wish really great things for the two of you. Thanks so much for stopping by!
Mother of Jeebus your blog rocks. You aren’t alone in your feelings. Thank you for writing!
No, thank YOU!!! (Curtsy!)
YES YES YES people like you are who I’ve been looking for. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO MY BODY.
I’m not going to lie to you, this is not all fun and games, lady…but you will make it. It just takes a lot of adjusting, foward thinking and a LOT of positivity! Good luck! I will be following along with you!
You’re on the right way: being (really) honest, leading it with sense of humor and expressing yourself. The “maternal blogosphere” sometimes has too many advices to moms and, SOMETIMES, we can feel confused by them. Although, it can also be helpful (and funny)! Now, I’m sorry, but I have to tell you this: it’s only the beginning of your “greatest adventure”… Congrats! (Promise me you’ll keep writing…) ;D
Love your texts, thank you for visiting my blog!
Thanks for liking my blog and in turn, introducing me to yours 🙂 I, too, never wanted children before, am 20 weeks along and have the same thoughts/worries/cravings/emotions as you do! I’ll be following you on your journey. Cheers!
Heh – think I would have been writing this blog just about exactly 27 years ago 😉 WAAAY younger and without nearly the partner support though. Still…somehow, it didn’t frighten me away from the whole parenting idea so I actually, willingly, PLANNED the second one 11 years later and whole lot wiser. Sadly, still struck out on the whole partner thing – apparently I love to throw in the extra twist of doing it all on my own ;-/
Congrats on your soon to be daughter. You’ll be fine. Yeah, parts of it suck monkey balls….but overall…you will be fine and you will be utterly amazed at so much.
Thanks for the words of encouragement! Your story just proves how strong you are. Holy crap, I am not sure i could do it alone. Hell, I have trouble just hoisting my giant ass off of the couch alone!
Thank you for the like 🙂
Great blog! From another thirty something first time mother who has experienced a lot of the not-so-gloriuos pregnancy moments – welcome to the club. The Uterus for rent club that is!
Thanks for visiting my blog today! I read through some of your recent posts and definitely enjoy your style! It is all rather overwhelming and scary right? But really freaking amazing as well. I wish you all the best through the rest of your pregnancy. I’ll be following along!
I follow your blog but don’t get an email when you make a new post. Any idea why that might be? I’d really like to stay up to date!
That’s so weird! It happens to me with a couple of blogs as well but I have no idea why! I will see of there is anything I can do on my end! Thanks for reading!!!
Oh yes, it’s a roller coaster isn’t it? I now have 4 boys…call me crazy. Great blog I always enjoy relating to other Mums’ journeys. Jen
I’ve given you the very inspiring blogger award at http://ldsconvertblog.com/2013/01/01/i-better-get-this-awards-thing-done/ Please come check it out.
So glad I can finally comment without giving away that I’m the secret Santa. I’m glad you enjoyed your “gift”. I have also nominated you for the Blogger of the Year award. It’s at the same link.
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I’ve really enjoyed reading your blog! You’re hilarious and brutally honest, which is mighty refreshing! Thank you for blogging and sharing.
Thank you so much for reading!
Love your blog! I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award!
http://runningafterale.wordpress.com/2013/04/10/versatile-blogger/
Just wanted to let you know I just nominated you for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award. Go here http://wolfangel43.wordpress.com/2013/04/19/the-very-inspiring-blogger-award-2/ to read the official rules of acceptance. It’s alright if you can’t but either way I enjoy reading your blog!
Thank you so much! I am absolutely honored! Thanks for reading and I will definitely will try and do this (accept!) this week!!! Thank you again!
You are very welcome. I love your blog!!
Oh man, I stumbled on your blog and even before reading I cracked up because of the title of the blog. I’ll love this one 🙂 (Mum of 2 by somebody who was never going to get married or have kids. Life happens).
PS. Our kids have 16 months between them and when the first born was 8 months we had a day were me and my husband lied in bed saying “no more kids as we are exhausted by one”. The next day I realised I was already pregnant again. How lucky wasn’t that?! It’s going to be crazy and fun!
That’s just about how it happened for us too. I think I knew I was already pregnant and was in denial for quite some time. I just couldn’t quite wrap my head around it all!
Oh my gosh. I just found your site and I am smitten. I’m new to this blogging thing and currently pregnant with baby #2 and I can relate to and appreciate nearly everything you say. Does that make us kindred spirits? Maybe. Looking forward to following your blog and reading much, much more!
Thank you so much for reading! And welcome to the blogosphere!
You make me laugh, you bring tears to my eyes and dear memories to my mind, and then you make me laugh again. I love your attitude and way of coping, and I think you can be an inspiration for many others too. Therefore, welcome to claim your award: http://freebutfun.wordpress.com/2013/11/07/awards/
Woohoo ! Baby making ! Just kidding, but seriously, why is your site called Broken Condoms ???
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Hey, just wanted to say thanks for liking my recent post “63 Things That Worry Me More Than My Daughters Being Called “Bossy”. I appreciate it and hope you’ll keep reading. Good luck with your blog, too.
I have loved following along with your blog for so long! I found it when I was pregnant with my first and it’s been fun to follow along with your journey. So when I was tasked with nominating 15 blogs for the One Lovely Blog Award, yours was a no-brainer. You can find the details here http://bit.ly/1DjdeK3
Oh my! Thank you! (This inspired me to write a completely scattered blog post! Except it was supposed to be a regular one but I have toddlers and am nothing if not scattered!) I am totally flattered!