Waiting for the Wine

So, I don’t know if I told you, internet, but I went ahead and took your advice and we are having a baby shower for Baby O after all. Okay, not really a shower. More like a sprinkle. Or, like, a small get together at our new place wherein people will eat sandwiches and drink beers (they will, obviously have to bring their own beers though, because lets face it, if I’m not drinking, I’m not paying. But you go right on ahead, have yourself a beer or 7.) I didn’t register or anything all “baby shower formal”, we just invited some people over. And we hope that they will bring diapers or gift cards. Or lots of wine for my post-delivery celebration. (Because you know that is really where MY head is. Because you guys have met me…you know I’m just waiting for the wine.) So, that will take place this Saturday.

And I can’t believe I am doing this again.

I feel like we JUST got done having Baby L’s baby shower. (Probably because it was exactly thirteen months ago.) And now, here we are, having another one. And Baby L will be scooting around all OUTSIDE of my body and stuff and we will be surrounded by dinosaur party favors and baby boy onesies. And OH. MY. GOD. In less then three months I am going to have another meatloaf.

I have so many questions about raising two tiny nuggets so close together. Like, will I ever sleep again? Is it worse having TWO tiny ones than one? Will I stop being such a crazy, anal-retentive freak about things being disinfected? Will I stop being so intensely worried about Baby L hurting herself? (I swear to Cheesus, I would have padded this whole house already if I weren’t afraid that MB would then promptly have me committed because he is of this mindset that kids sometimes hurt themselves. WHAT?! MY baby?! No.)  Will I ever get a pedicure or go out to dinner with my husband again? I mean, these things are already issues for us! (Especially my lack of pedicures. I mean, my toes are scary, you guys. And, OBVIOUSLY MB is totally concerned about the state of my toes, above all else.)

As you may be able to tell, the worry is finally starting to kick in a little. I mean, I am still mostly calm. Mostly. I only start really freaking out, like, in the middle of the night when I am awoken because I have to pee for the 750th time during the night and then I start realizing that I have to pee because there is a WHOLE NEW BABY residing in my PELVIS and soon I am going to have to EXPEL him and then he will be on the OUTSIDE and I will have TWO BABIES and then I will go completely INSANE because MB will be at work and OH MY GOD, I thought one was hard, how the hell am I going to have TWO?!

Yeah, I told you guys before, my head is a totally fun place to live. Especially at two in the morning.

I have to keep reminding myself that I am not the first person in the world to ever have two babies so close together. And that people have TWINS every day. And holy SHIT, how do people have twins? And is that worse? And what about triplets? And Octomom? (Not that I consider her a real person. She exists in my mind as some sort of cartoon character or something. It might be her lips.) What the hell do these people do? How do they not accidentally put the roast in the bassinet and the baby in the crock pot? How?! I need to KNOW, internet!

(Deep breath…)

Okay, this was obviously supposed to be a post about how we are having a Baby Sprinkle, not a literary panic attack. Sorry about that, you guys. You know how it is. Being knocked up makes you a little nuts.


Octomom: Or maybe THIS is why I can’t take her seriously?


19 thoughts on “Waiting for the Wine

  1. I’m 6 weeks into it now. Some things are easier. Some things are entirely crazier. The kids are both so different, which is a very good thing. You’ll be ok!!

  2. I remember that panic when the second one was on her way. I did not know how I would handle it, as #1 was a very busy little boy. Still is busy, at 22. I actually hired some help for about two weeks after #2 arrived. Help was Jeff, the 20 year old son of my midwife and he was great with the toddler. He was not great with dishes or laundry, but it made me feel good to have him around when my spousal unit went back to work on day 3 postpartum. Jeff and I shared a lot of laughs and giggles, he got the toddler into the kiddie pool and kept track of him so I could nurse the new one. Jeff introduced me to Depeche Mode, for which I am forever grateful. I think that may be why it is #2’s favorite band. I did not pay him much – maybe $30 a day, but it helped get me through the “OMG!!! How am I gonna manage this??? I will be outnumbered by my spawn” – stage>

    • I wish that I could hire someone to help out for a while. unfortunately that isn’t really an option for us. Luckily, though, my hubs and I have family nearby and they LOVE babies. So, I am thinking I will have the help that I need. I mean, I HOPE. Ha!

  3. Yes you will get pedicures and go out dinner with your husband. It won’t be nearly as often as you hope it will be. No you will not stop being over obsessive about your baby hurting their selves or getting sick. My little ones are 2 years apart and I think every tine cough or bump is some major deal. If you ever need any help or advice I’m totally up for helping. It’s pretty scary when your kids are super close together.

    • Well, I guess being worried to death about cuts and scrapes and bumps on the head isn’t the worst thing a parent could do, right? My husband did tell me yesterday that I am not nearly as psychotic as I was when the first one was born, so I guess I am getting better. Yikes.

      • I’m the exact opposite! I’ve gotten worse with my second. I think…. My husband and my parents tell me that it’s not necessary to go to the doctor for every little thing… But it’s good that you are getting better!!

  4. It is hard in the beginning, my boys are 16 months apart. I will say this take lots of pictures and video because I really don’t remember either one in detail like I did with my girls. It certainly makes the day go quickly, I let my husband do all the worrying about them getting sick, the boys were always sick because my oldest daughter was in school, it builds their immunity. By number 4 I used the dishwasher to sterilize the bottles and I admit put the pacifier in my mouth to clean it. I can tell you this I was a basket case with number 1 and sanitized EVERYtHING including my husband before he was allowed near her! I am sure you will be great at it you have kept one alive 13 months already!!!! All the best!

    • Thank you! I am fully expecting to be on autopilot for the next year or so. But, I learned through comments that you can avoid sticking the baby in the crock pot and the roast in the bassinet by simply remembering that roasts don’t cry. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!

    • I need a shirt that says this. Because I am going to need reminders, I feel. I also feel that I am going to miss shaving my legs. Or at least that feeling you get when you have TIME to shave your legs.

  5. You will do just fine. I have twins, and people always ask how it’s done. It’s just done! You don’t have any other choice.. it will be the same when meatloaf #2 arrives. Roasts don’t cry; that’s a difference we have noticed.

  6. Just don’t do what my folks did ad have two close together and then me six years later. That messes EVERYTHING up. (I wasn’t an accident I was a surprise.)

    • Oh, let me assure you, this is the LAST one. I might have said that I would never have kids in the first place. And I may have also said that Baby L was the last one. But I MEAN it this time. This lady is DONE!

    • I am learning that about taking time for yourself. I still have a lot of guilt about that to this day with Baby L. It iis becoming more and more evident, though, that I am going to need to suck it up and have a night out every once in a while. Or I will surely go insane. lol

  7. Pingback: Sprinkling | Broken Condoms

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