So, Baby L is a little over three months old now (can you BELIVE that?!) and I am, more and more, getting the hang of being a mom. You know, sometimes I still have little freak outs because she starts crying spontaneously and I have no idea why. And sometimes I just want to take a nap so badly that my body aches. But for the most part now, there are things that I am confident of. I know that Baby L will smile when I come to pick her up in the morning from her sleeper. And I know that she will want to cuddle in the afternoon and that it has to be with me, no one else will do. And I know that she isn’t usually fussy unless she wants to be held or is tired. Knowing these things makes me feel pretty confident that I am doing a decent job a being a parent. Recognizing the tone in her cries and being able to translate their meanings makes me feel pretty damn good about things. Because at first, I was fairly certain that she just cried to make me cry. Or just to make me feel completely inept. (Both of which, she succeeded at on a regular basis.) But now, even with the panic of this cold and the mucus and the little sad look she gets on her face when she is uber-stuffy, I feel pretty prepared to be her mom, no matter what that entails. I’m pretty proud of myself for that.
Baby L has been sleeping through the night for quite a while now (almost immediately after she started sleeping in the Fisher Price Newborn Sleeper contraption that I can not speak highly enough of) and she takes semi-regular naps througout the day, but she likes to be part of the action. So, she spends a lot of her time during the day, fighting naps because she won’t be able to see what’s happening on “90210”. (And yes, we watch “90210” together every morning because we are nerds and we can’t get enough…and by “we”, I mean…you know, ME.) She likes it when I kiss the bottoms of her feet. She likes to sit in the beanbag and stare confusedly at the Apple logo on my phone when I try to take her picture. (Which causes her to make really unhappy looking faces and makes getting a smiling baby picture next to impossible.) She is perplexed by her five-year-old cousin who has a wealth of pent-up energy which he expels by leaping around the house like a maniac for hours on end. She likes Grandma’s rocking chair. And she likes taking naps in our bed over any other place.
My little nugget is getting all this personality and I am just so…so…I don’t even know what the word is that I’m looking for…elated? Yes. But also, sort of sad when I think that these times of cuddling are getting fewer and further between and my tiny little girl is growing into a…well…person!
I have a million thoughts to post here on the daily and I have been so busy with nose-suckers and diapers that I haven’t had a chance, but I plan to get back into a regular pattern of blogging THIS WEEK. Thanks for hanging in there with me, you guys rock my face off!