Fixed

So, some of you might remember the post where I talked about deciding on the Essure procedure as my form of permanent sterilization. And how it sort of seemed like I was having to mourn the use of my lady parts.

Well, internet, last Friday? I did it. I don’t have a lot to say about the actual procedure because, just as I was told and had read, there really wasn’t much to it. The worst part was the two nurses and doctor attempting to get the pain medication into my body. Because if I didn’t know better, I would think I was completely vein-less. But, once the medications were in and I was sufficiently HIGH, the procedure lasted all of five minutes. And then a team of professionals (read: family members who didn’t want me to fall asleep while bathing children) stepped in for the rest of the day and watched the kids so I could sleep it all off. But seriously, you guys, five minutes. The end.

I mentioned in the previous post that being sterilized was a little bittersweet. And not because I want any more kids. Because oh HELLS NO. But because it sort of seemed, when I thought about it, that part of my femininity was being stripped away with this procedure. Now, I know, I know, that’s not the case. But it sort of feels like it.

When MB got home from work that night, I beamed at him, “I’m FIXED!” and he said, “How do you feel about that?” And I told him that it is sort of sad. Sort of like a goodbye to fertility. Which is such a strange feeling. To know that I won’t ever be able to conceive again, while it is a total RELIEF, is pretty serious business. Because it is FOREVER. And that’s…you know…pretty damn permanent. So I spent a little while thinking about it. And coming to terms with it. And I know I made the right decision here. Because I have these two beautiful kids. One of each. And they are my everything. And I really couldn’t ask for anything more. And if I accidently GOT anything more, I might really go batshit crazy if I haven’t already.  I don’t need any more crazy, you guys. We’re all full up on crazy over here.

So…there ya have it. I went and did it. I’m fixed!

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3 thoughts on “Fixed

  1. I’m with you. I have my 2 kids and am closed for business. But man, I keep getting that pang of sadness every time I see someone all excited about being knocked up. I guess it’s not supposed to all make sense all of the time.

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