Dilemma

So, I have this dilemma.

I desperately need some sleep. And not just a couple of hours. Like, I need sleeeeeeeep, you guys. I need to not wake up to an alarm a baby demanding something. I need to have one morning where I can wake up and have a cup of coffee and watch Today without having to also sing the ABC song on repeat while changing a diaper and trying to simultaneously find out what’s trending on Twitter. Okay, the Twitter thing is not important and a lot of the shit I see on Today is fluff and I don’t mind not being able to hear it over myself singing the ABC song. And I know, you guys, ALL parents want these moments. I KNOW, okay? I am not trying to play martyr and swear that I need it more because two kids under the age of two and OH MY GOD, the torture, or anything. I love being a stay-at-home-mom. Really. I do.

But I am not my best self. I am tired and cranky and potentially about to have a breakdown if I have to make my 16-month-old three different lunches again in order to find something she will put INTO HER MOUTH instead of ONTO THE FLOOR. Because holding a cranky 3-month-old while doing so is NO JOKE. So…I need a break.

And, miraculously, my mom and sister have generously offered me one. My mom and step-dad are taking a trip to visit my sister this upcoming weekend and they have offered to take BOTH of the kids with them. Leaving me alone. (I mean, basically, since MB works ALL THE TIME.) Blissfully ALONE. My dilemma is that I am TERRIFIED to let them go. I have never been away from Baby O for more than a few hours and L is such a monster sometimes that I would feel guilty about knowingly letting someone else take her for several days. Because I know what kind of a sleeper she is. I also know what that does to her mood. And I know that sometimes it makes ME crazy and I MADE her. So I can only imagine how other people will react to it.

On the one hand, I feel like it would be good for me. I mean, the kids would come back and I would have missed them terribly but have had time to get all rejuvenated and stuff. I would be like a new mommy. And I would appreciate that. And I am sure that they would too! Robot Mommy can’t be too much fun.

But, on the other hand, three days is a long time! I don’t know what I would do with myself without them. (I mean, besides cleaning, reading, sleeping, having adult conversations, going out to dinner, peeing alone, showering…probably several times per day just to get my fill, eating hot food while sitting, not sweeping the floor 37 times before noon, I could go on.)  I feel a little lost thinking about how empty the house will be without them here. How my clothes won’t smell like spit-up and how the lack of thin layer of Cheerios on the floor will make me feel. My tiny BFFs will be GONE. That’s just sad.

Also, and MOSTLY, what if something happens and I am not there?! OH. EM. GEE. You guys. Seriously. WHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENS?

What do I DO, you guys? Do I let them take my spawn for several days and get this much needed break? Or do I keep the reigns in place and just try and maintain!?

 

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17 thoughts on “Dilemma

  1. I jealous part of me that wants a break is screaming ‘take it’ and the mommy part of me is saying ‘Oh no! That’s too long!’ I guess… You need to decide if the time away from them is worth the rest. Maybe they can take L and you can keep O?

  2. I was thinking the same thing. Let the older one go. One kid is still some kind of rest compared to 2 kids. I would be scared to let them go too,but I understand that you need sleep. I need sleep too,but no one wants to take my kids 🙂

  3. I agree with the other ones; it is surprisingly relaxing to have only one kid around. Even more relaxing without any kids though 😉 Is there an option of your mum and step dad taking care of both kids for a shorter while,just a day or so?

    Remember the priorities, if it does get quiet though: sleep, hot drink and meal, sleep, shower, sleep….(only if time permits, cleaning)

    • Yes, one would be more relaxing than two. None would be more relaxing than one! But no, they’re going out of town for the whole weekend, so…it’s three days or nothing! Yikes!

  4. Ooo that’s tough! I totally get wanting a day off and then sometimes when you get it all you can do is think about the babies!! I wish I had a day where my brain was rewound to before I had a kid. Then I could go back to the present time. heheh
    I agree with the above, maybe just keeping baby O cuz like, when have the two of you gotten to bond with just the two of you? Snuggles. And sleeping when he sleeps. And all that jazz.

      • I’m with Kathryn. Let them take Miss 3. She will have a ball. Keep the little one. Getting time with just him is precious and Miss 3 can get rid of all her excess energy and be the center of attention again.

  5. Being super sleep deprived myself I say take the break but then another part if me knows I would probably not be able to so the same. I have to agree with everyone else that letting your older kiddo have a “vacation” would probably feel incredibly relaxing!

  6. Duuuuuuude, girl, you let them GO!! You love the separation, you remember why you love them, you miss them, you are happy to see them return. And you take that time to love, wait for it, YOU. I sort of like when my husband deploys for exactly those reasons.But you can bet your ass, after four months of just me and kid, the two of them will get some bonding time as I escape. To the spa, to the mall, to the car, to the anywhere!!

  7. Pingback: Survival | Broken Condoms

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