Little Shrieking Monsters

Ta-da! I have returned from the trenches of parenting two toddlers (if only momentarily) to update you on said parenting of two toddlers.

I really don’t know where to begin. I mean, they are 2.5 and 19 months now. So, there’s THAT little tidbit. And if you know toddlers, then you know that that means that the “Terrible Twos” are in full swing around here. Nothing is safe. Walls are riddled with multicolored crayon art, DVDs are used as skates to slide around on the hardwood floors with, tables are being climbed, cribs are being escaped from, molars are coming, tantrums are being thrown (not just by the kids, mind you, I am pretty good at them, myself), there is hitting, there is pushing, there is fighting over things like empty paper towel rolls or a lone sock.

Things are interesting.

L is at the point where she can hold an entire conversation with you and she will tell you all about how it isn’t nice to hit people and that if you eat all of your chicken, mommy will be so proud of you and maybe then you get to go to the park. She will then promptly decide that she doesn’t like chicken and then start hurling it at O. So…needless to say, we don’t go to the park.

O is at a really fun age now. Although it is fun in that he is hilarious and singing and dancing and running around trying to imitate his sister, the tantrums he is starting to throw are not so much fun. He is much louder and persistent than L was. L was definitely a hurl-yourself-onto-the-damn-floor type of fit-thrower, but she generally got bored with the tantrum and moved on to something else fairly quickly. If I had know that those were MILD tantrums…if only I had known. O’s are a little more intense. They usually stem from him not getting to hold something. Like my coffee (this actually IS familiar) and basically start out with these blood-curdling shrieks of SHEER HORRIBLENESS. And just when you think that it can’t get much worse because you are quite certain that your eardrums have likely already exploded, it gets louder. More shrill. MORE HORRIBLE. And it lasts forever. No amount of time seems to make these things end. He is an angel one minute, and the next he is a HORRIBLE, SHRIEKING MONSTER. And don’t you even try and console him. DON’T YOU DARE. That will make it worse and your eardrums surely will explode now. SURELY.

But he is a cuddly little dude and his smile is possibly the best thing EVAR.

L has also gotten glasses. It BROKE MY MUSHY MOMMY HEART when they told me she might need them (I don’t know why, it isn’t like glasses are the worst thing to ever happen to a kid, right?) but I sucked it up. I have to say, they seem to give her even MORE personality, if that is even possible! She looks like a tiny Tina Fey sometimes and I just want to put a little business suit on her and sit her at a news desk and let her tell me some jokes about politics. But it might be a little too soon for that. I will keep you all posted.

So, there you have it, folks. Life is super loud and super messy around here. And sometimes I want to jab ice picks into my temples. And sometimes, I would gladly sell any part of my anatomy for a good night of delicious SLEEP. But sometimes it really is totally worth it. Even if I am only partially conscious to witness it. This shit is EXHAUSTING, ya’ll!







9 thoughts on “Little Shrieking Monsters

  1. Totally get what you’re saying. Felix is the master of screaming tantrums, which is why he is lucky he is also the most charming little dude on earth. It’s like parenting TwoFace from Batman.

  2. Good to see you back! Sometimes I wonder when Moms disappear for a bit whether or not their toddlers have tied them up with jump ropes, are force-feeding them infant vitamins and have stolen their smart devices in order to download… well, whatever a toddler needs to download. Sometimes I think things haven’t gotten better since toddler-days (mine are 4, 6, 6, and 7) but then I read this post and I realize, that yes, in fact, they have. So don’t worry. Things are looking up. Unless you go for number 3… this goes without saying.
    You rock, as always!!

    • DEFINITELY NOT having a number three!!! I’m not sure what possessed me to think that I could handle two. Oh wait…I never thought I could. But they’re alive. And I’m alive. So…I must be doing okay?

      Thank you so much for the support! Xo!

  3. My little lad (almost 2) has taken to throwing himself on the floor when he slightly disagrees with anything. When the effect is less dramatic than he wants he will stop yelling, stand up, reposition and repeat. He is awesome!

  4. L looks fantastic with her glasses on! What a great thing you found out she can benefit from them before the lack of them would have had a negative impact on her self esteem.

    When reading, I know what you are talking about. Even here the tantrums of the second one were… beyond any imagination. One continued for 4 hours, and that was because I left him for 10minutes with a lady he knew… but mine are 3 and 4 now. And it’s amazing how easy (compaired to 2 yrs ago) it is to get around alone with them and how many fun things you can do with them. I take them swimming, iceskating, I’ve flown to Germany with them and the best part is: it is not exhausting work but mostly loads of fun. You’ll get there soon!

  5. Isn’t she ADORABLE in her pretty glasses!

    Knowing how my sister in law worked with 4 under the age of 5, you’ll get past this point soon! I mean look at how much difference a little time has made with your daughter? I am thrilled you’re posting, I have been wondering how things are going!

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