Last night, I decided to stay up a little later than usual to get some “me time” and watch a little “SVU” and play Candy Crush Saga (you might be familiar and if you are, you know that playing this game might as well be a full time job and that it will take over your whole life if you let it) so that I didn’t go completely insane from all the baby-chasing I’ve been doing. So, I took an hour. I relaxed. I watched some good TV drama and I headed to bed. And then, as I was lying down next to my snoring hubby, it hit me.
I have to deliver a fucking baby again. In, like, FIVE weeks. And I don’t want to deliver a baby, you guys. I know, I know. I have done this before. And I rocked it. But I also REMEMBER it. So, that whole, having experienced it thing? Not such a comfort. I am not necessarily scared. But I am not necessarily NOT scared either. I don’t want to vomit into that weird green container again. And I don’t want to spend 22 hours sleeping in 4 minute increments between contractions. And I don’t want to eat nothing but ice chips (which will make me vomit MORE).
I started having these horrible flashbacks of gushing water and hospital beds. And pitocin. And nurses who made me want to break things. (Namely, their faces.) And I guess this has all started to set in now because I usually am so preoccupied with trying to lasso Baby L into standing still for 45 seconds so that I can hoist my fat ass off of the floor that I forget that I am actually going to have to DO THIS THING. The fact that I have to hoist my fat ass off of the floor in the first place is somewhat of a reminder, but it is fleeting. Because I have a 25 pound outside-the-body baby to attend to.
But, I have definitely entered crunch time. I have also definitely realized, despite having just done this less than a year ago and knowing what to expect, I am totally not ready for this new meatloaf. I don’t have my bag packed. I don’t have a plan on what to do with Baby L when I am in the hospital (besides, you know, freaking out that she won’t be with me for SEVERAL DAYS! What the hell will I do?!). I haven’t toured this hospital that I have to deliver in. I don’t even know where the maternity unit IS. I need to get ON this, internet. I need a big slap in the face and a “GET IT TOGETHER, WOMAN!”
First, I’m going to have a cup of coffee.
Until I return, if you need a refresher on my first birthing experience, you can read it all here, here and here.
6 thoughts on “35 Weeks and a Reminder of Things to Come”
It’s cool… I don’t even have my bags packed yet either. lol. I’d rather play candy crunch. AND HOW THE HECK TO I GET TO PROCEED TO THE NEXT LEVEL/WORLD WITHOUT PAYING $.99
Aw, no worries – We didn’t get a “hospital bag” ready until about 23 hours into our 28. And even then, it was hubby scrambling to throw random things into a bag that he thought we might somehow need? Basically, he threw a cell phone, a granola bar, a few tank tops for me, a onesie and a couple cloth diapers in it. Yeah…
You can do this, and if you need a tarp let me know.
I don’t think I will need a tarp. But you know, it depends on what’s going on when my water breaks!
Staying up late for me time. *sigh* cause even in the bathroom, ya just ain’t alone anymore lol. I hear ya loud and clear mama.
I do have to say this. I loved labor and delivery. I loved pushing those kids out and I felt robbed when I had to have a c section with my last one. I didn’t feel like I had a baby, I didn’t feel a connection to her at first and I felt robbed of doing all that hard work of pushing, sweating and breaking blood vessels in my face to bring that little human into the world. Hang in there. You could be squatting in a field to have that baby lol