Notes on Week 38

Okay, internet, if you have been following along, you know that I am not a giant fan of pregnancy. And you might also remember that my first one was full of fun and craziness. You know, with losing my job, fighting with Medicaid to even get prenatal care and then just feeling generally miserable for THE WHOLE EFFING THING. I have been lucky this time. Baby O hasn’t given me nearly the amount of physical agony that Baby L presented me with during my pregnancy. You know, until NOW.

NOW?

Now I am not sleeping because, between trying to maneuver this giant belly and keeping Baby L from actually sleeping ON MY FACE, I have barely enough time for that sort of shenanigans. Sleep is for the weak, they say. They do say that, right? Anyway, if this is true, then I hereby declare myself, The Incredible Hulk of Insomnia. I do not turn green, though.

Except, wait. Yes, I do. Yesterday, I was taking out the trash and something smelled really awful and I turned green, and hurried and puked in the bathtub. Yep. 38 weeks and still puking. I guess there just wasn’t enough of that in the beginning of this whole thing for it to be over.

Then I took 45 minutes to effortlessly (read: with great effort and discomfort) ease on my maternity pants and haul my giant ass to my 38 week check up. Where I was told that nothing had changed. I am still pregnant and will remain that way until the time should come wherein…I am no longer pregnant. The good news is that my doctor praised me about my weight gain (only 17 pounds, which feels more like 850), which, you know, made me hungry.  And when I realize that I am hungry, I usually do so because MY CHEST IS ON FIRE.

The heartburn has returned. And with a vengeance. I am not a fan. I am not a fan at all. I can’t even drink WATER without wanting to kill myself. Water = sandpaper. Bread = fire. Hot sauce? Well, hot sauce is expectedly hot. But since I love it and it has the same effect as ANYTHING ELSE EVER, I eat it. Have I mentioned to you, internet, how before I was pregnant, I got heartburn like ONCE PER YEAR and now I have it 36 times per day? No? Oh. Well, yeah. That’s what is happening in my esophagus. You’re welcome for the enlightenment.

Baby O is officially kicking me in the ribs. This is the kind of discomfort that one can never describe to someone who has not experienced it. I never had this experience with Baby L and, up until two days ago, had not had any trouble with Baby O. But now, he loves my rib cage. LOVES. That’s all I am going to say about this. Because it is so annoying that I feel like if I talk about it too much, it will happen again and I will either cry or punch something. Or both.

I am WAY too emotional. I have cried three times today and two of the three times were about nothing. I mean, probably not nothing exactly. But definitely stupid things. Like, that I didn’t have any more bottled water in the refrigerator and all that was cold was Dr. Pepper which, (if you can IMAGINE) gives me super bad heartburn. Then I decided, since my mom had my kid for the day, and my husband was out doing man things (or getting a massage. Yes. Seriously.) I would finish watching “Sophie’s Choice” (because I have this fascination about WW2 and the Holocaust and things of that nature, because I am a total dork and that stuff is interesting) and then I watched Meryl Streep have to CHOOSE between her CHILDREN. And then I had a breakdown and felt the need to punch a German soldier. Luckily for them, there aren’t many German soldiers around my neighborhood. And MB wasn’t home. (Sidenote: I did have a flash of the diploma that hangs on the wall in the house of the old man that I take care of sometimes that states that his middle name is Adolf. But I didn’t punch him either. Come on, that would be mean.) I am tired of crying for no reason. And I am tired of wanting to punch imaginary Nazis. (I mean, I would probably want to do that anyway, but I am WAY too serious about it today.)

(Another sidenote: Is there some reason that “Beaches” is ALWAYS on? I mean, I loved this movie when I was a kid (which may also be weird, but my best friend loved it too…) and I have a really hard time NOT watching it when it is on but how many times can a pregnant lady watch “Beaches” without sticking her head in the oven? Honestly.)

Also? The PEEING. I cannot stop peeing! That is all.

My point, internet? I am SO READY to feel like a normal person again. But I am SO NOT READY to have a baby. I just need a pause button. And that pause button should not only pause the progress of this pregnancy when pushed, but sort of make the pregnancy nonexistent so I can have beer. You know, until I push play again. I swear, I would push play again, you guys, I just need a break. Then I would need a bring me beer button. Because that would come in handy forever.

 

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10 thoughts on “Notes on Week 38

  1. Thinking about you – you are almost there!! I cannot say that it will get easier (but I don’t personally know, I only have one so far), but at least you will not be pregnant any more!

  2. *Hugs* I hope you don’t have the pregnancy that never ends…. I’m going in tomorrow night for induction. 13 days past my due date. Sick. Of. It. All.

    • Oh, you poor thing. You are definitely a trooper, Kathryn. I know you didn’t want to be induced, but it will be fine and totally worth it! Can’t wait to see little tabitha!

  3. You’re almost there!!! It’s going to be so hard and so worth it and you’ll be a much stronger woman for all of it. 🙂 And I had some pretty awful heartburn there at the end of my pregnancy with Doodle, too. Just naturally swallowing my saliva gave me heartburn, so I completely understand why you’d just go ahead and eat the hot sauce. It was constant, it was uncomfortable – but I do miss the feeling of his elbow swooshing across the inside of my belly, those little toes finding their way into my ribs… and when he had the hiccups! Oh, the hiccups were the absolute best and I miss them with all of my being! 🙂

    • I did get a little emotional a few times thinking about how these are the last few days of being so close to Baby O. And, while I am ready to be one person again instead of two, it is sort of weird thinking that this is it! All in all, I will be happy to hold him and to nibble on those little piggies!

  4. NEVER watch Sophie’s Choice. Are you nuts? Sophie’s Choice? While pregnant with a second child? Oh, honey. This was one of my recurrent intrusive thoughts during my PPD. The soldier. The crying. Thank God I’m on anti-depressants or I’d be crying right now. Good luck with the birth, if it hasn’t already happened. And thank you for stopping by my blog and liking it.

    • Yeah. I totally learned my lesson. I had never seen it. And was not warned! I was a hot mess.

      Thank you! But no baby yet. Still waiting and fighting with the existing one to sleep so that my body doesn’t give out during delivery!

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