This past month has been INSANE. You have been sick, teething, exhausted, cranky, defiant, loud, hyperactive, and sometimes, all of these things at the same time. My days with you have varied from wonderfully entertaining to seriously infuriating. When I say infuriating, I want you to realize that I am not mad AT you, but I am mad that I a) I have tried 47 times to drink coffee while it is warm, subsequently heating it up OVER AND OVER AND OVER but it never works because one of you has suddenly created some sort of gift for me in your pants and it needs to be dealt with RIGHT THIS MINUTE or because someone else is shrieking because she cannot lift a chair that is TWICE HER SIZE, over her HEAD. (I can see where this would be frustrating, my dear. The shrieking is taking things a bit far. I am more than happy to relocate said chair for you. Promise.) or b) no matter how many dishes I have done today, every time I go into the kitchen, the pile seems to have doubled. Or tripled. (Why the eff don’t we have a dishwasher?) or c) one of you is sick and cannot decide if you would like to sleep constantly or not at all so I spend most of the day fighting with you to sleep and then you wake up the other one of you. And then I fight with that one. Lather, rinse, repeat.
I could never be angry at you guys though. You are little and hilarious and super fun. You know, when you are smiling and cooperative. Which, by the way, could happen more often if you wouldn’t mind. Just saying. But you are generally good little spawn. You are more grown up every day and it kills me to think that, pretty soon, you won’t be my tiny, dependent little people. And you will be doing things like going to school. And having sleepovers at friends’ houses. And, like, stealing cars and stuff. (You seriously had better not steal cars EVER, you guys. I am serious. Unless you can be really good at it. Like, if you were like Nick Cage and Angelina Jolie in “Gone in 60 Seconds”. Far be it for me to make you stop doing what you’re good at. Don’t get caught stealing cars.) It blows my mind that you guys will be ONE and TWO in a few short months. How did this happen?
If there is a grievance here, it is that I would really like to sleep more. I am not saying that this is always a problem. And O, you are mostly an angel in letting Mommy sleep. L, on the other hand, you are a monster. 21 months old and you still refuse to stay in your crib all night. You want to be next to me ALL. THE. TIME. (And I don’t hate this at all because you are the best cuddler I know…but let me tell you something about how mommies and daddies like to sleep in the same bed. Sometimes, you make it a little difficult for your Daddy to sleep because you are kicking him in the nose for hours on end. You really should apologize for that.) But I am tired. With your Dad’s schedule, at this point, there is rarely any time for showering or sleeping or the brushing of the hair. I really miss brushing my hair too. And showers. Oh my god, how I miss showers. Long ones. Long, hot, GLORIOUS SHOWERS. Okay, I might be getting off topic. But you guys will understand all of this when you become parents. Or probably when you are teenagers and I start giving all of this back to you tenfold. Just wait. Sleep with one eye open. Mommy will be there. Interrupting sleep and showers and peace. You wait.
I haven’t had a whole lot of time for writing since you have both been sick with strep and Baby O with a double ear infection before that. You have definitely been giving me a run for my money for the last few weeks. And I really did want to write you each and individual letter about how
insane you are making me awesome you are on an individual level, but there just hasn’t been much opportunity. So this will have to do.
You are getting to be SO very smart. And social. And you love being outside and running around like a maniac. And singing. And pulling all of Daddy’s DVDs off of the shelf and then sitting amidst the pile of them while I stand by and decide whether it is worth it to tell you “no” and risk the epic tantrum you will have or if I should just let you have your way and try to use this as a teaching tool for “Cleanup Time”. Most of the time, you win. Because I am a sucker and you are so freaking cute. Because not only do you make this giant mess, but you then look at me from your pile of whatever it is you are attempting to destroy and you put your arms up with a concerned look on your face and say, “What happened?!” like you have NO IDEA how this has occurred. I am in trouble with you, kiddo. You are an evil genius.
I am about to start to plan your second birthday party. And it makes me crazy to think about because it feels like just yesterday we had your first one. You are such an amazing little person. You are getting so big and you talk so much and the best part of it all is that you actually make sense now. You know, sometimes. The other day, you tried to pick Baby O up from off of my lap and, while it was hilarious because he weighs ONE POUND LESS THAN YOU, it was terrifying to think, “What if she actually succeeds one day and drops him on his baby noggin?!”
As per usual, you make life worth living. You are the best, brightest, most amazing little girl in the world and every day with you is the best day ever. (Okay, I am going to go ahead and say that I mean this all the time, but there are definitely days that I want to run screaming from the house because you have had 74 tantrums. Just so you know. I love you. But you are a handful.) I can’t believe that, before too long, I will be looking back on these days and they will be a distant memory. It is bittersweet. But I am excited to see the person that you will become. I love you.
You are eight months old now. And holy crap, I don’t even know what to say. You are amazing. Your smile is HUGE and real and just as contagious as the strep throat you and your sister have been bouncing around. You are super ticklish and you HATE to be on your tummy. You immediately roll over onto your back. I assume it is so you can protect your head better from being crushed by your insane sister. Or at least see the skull crushing coming and yell for help. She doesn’t mean any harm. She just thinks that everything is a seat. Seriously. She has totally sat on my head before too. Don’t be offended. You love her though. Your face still lights up when she comes near you. I’m convinced that the two of you are going to be inseparable.
You are still not crawling, but not because you don’t want to. I, actually, believe that you probably just need a few more minutes per day of practice. But this poses a problem because you are both at ages where you demand attention. A lot of it. And usually simultaneously. I am going to get this thing going. Because even though the thought of both of you running around the house and falling down and stuff scares the bejesus out of me, the thought of carrying you around for much longer is far worse. You are a BIG BOY, kiddo. Adorable. And totally solid. But FREAKING HUGE.
I find myself getting so excited for you to grow up a little and be a little more independent and then I immediately feel guilty for what feels like wishing your infancy away. There are, however, moments that I wish you could stay my cuddly little turkey forever. But there is so much more to come, little guy. So much. And we will have so much fun!
I love you.
Both of you make me so very happy and fill my heart up with some crazy happiness I didn’t know existed until you were here and our family was complete.
To the moon and back,
2 thoughts on “An Open Letter to My Kids: 8 months and 21 months”
This is so wonderful, so absolutely true… except for one thing. You said that you will look back and see this as a distant memory. And I have to tell you (as a mother of four, ages 6, 5, 5 and 3) that you will not remember any of this. because I have to say, it’s all gone from my memory. Like the mind-eraser in Men in Black came and pointed their gamma rays at me and BLIP… gone. Thank you though for bringing a tiny piece of this back. (One recommendation… every once in awhile write down the whole entire day’s schedule, every half hour of it. Because otherwise you will have no idea how you spent your days. I wish I’d done it more!)
Your blog makes me happy. And Baby O gives me hope that maybe, MAYBE it’s at least possible my next one will sleep (written while I rock/nurse my 21 month old to sleep).