Insomnia and Putting a Ring On It

One of the things about pregnancy that I hate the most but also find the most useful is the insomnia. I am able to wake up at 4 am and accomplish things around the house before the Today show that I normally wouldn’t accomplish before noon. And while this annoys the bejesus out of me, I look forward to the afternoon naps. Oh, the naps.

I have been waking up at around 4 for about the entirety of my pregnancy. I find that the only way that I can sleep later is if we have a REALLY exhausting day and then I MIGHT make it until 7. And then I do a little jig. I wake up with a million thoughts running through my head. About cribs. And plans for moving. And car seats (because holy JESUS there are so many to choose from!). And my overwhelming desire to learn to knit. And, of course, how and where I am going to end up having this baby and whether or not I will ever get to see a doctor again. (This last one is still, obviously, making me a crazy person, but I am, with the help of the best man in the world, My Beloved, staying positive and angry. I find that anger helps me stay motivated to stick it to the man.) Over the weekend, MB and I went to a nearby outlet mall to spend his income tax return money on things that he has been putting off buying in the wake of all the crazy that has been going on at home like a new pair of glasses and new jeans (he has gained more weight throughout my pregnancy than I have. Anyone else’s significant other eating for him, you and the baby??). While we were there, I had a mini-meltdown about not knowing how we are going to swing this whole thing. And for the 67 millionth time, he reassured me that he will take care of me and the baby, no matter what. And that that’s what he is there for. And that he doesn’t feel obligated, but that he LOVES us. And that’s what you do when you love someone. You look out for them. And, of course, I am a spaz and everything will work out because “it always has”.

He’s right. And I need to learn to calm down and trust him. But I’m not really the trusting type. Even if I KNOW that he is serious and that I would do the same thing if the tables were turned, it is still hard to depend so much on someone else. You know, even if for nothing else than my sanity.

Pregnancy is hard.

But we are making it. And we will make it. And after we had this heart-to-heart over a breakfast for dinner meal at Denny’s (because nothing calms me the way that bacon does), we, totally on a whim and without discussing it at all, walked into a jewelry store and bought an engagement ring. We’ve known for a long time that we would be married some day, but we hadn’t really wanted to rush it. I want to elope somewhere beautiful and not be bothered with family and wedding planning and bridesmaids dresses, so naturally, the only thing really holding us back from “getting hitched” was the lack of funds. And then I got knocked up. And lost my job. So, seeing as we may never have money again, we figured he’d better at least put a ring on it.So, no, it wasn’t this romantic mome20120130-065632.jpg

 

nt where he got down on one knee and made a grand gesture. And it is nothing fancy, but simple and exactly what looks like it belongs on my finger. But I don’t need a grand gesture. Or a fancy-pants showy rock. I need a partner. And I have one. And he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. And every day is a grand gesture when you feel as loved and as cherished as I do.

So, there it is, he will make an honest woman out of me after all.

 

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13 thoughts on “Insomnia and Putting a Ring On It

  1. Congrats on the engagement!!!!
    Take a deep breath, your fiance is right, everything will be ok and he will take care of the three of you. Sometimes we have to take 3 steps back in order to go forward.
    Chin up love 🙂

  2. Said so lovely 🙂 Congratulations! When my husband and I got engaged it was no big thing too, just something we decided on together. One Saturday we took a day to go to jewelry stores and we ended up buying a very economical (but beautiful) ring together. It doesn’t have to be a “fairy tale.” In fact I wouldn’t want it to be. It’s just reality. OUR reality.

    Again, congratulations! Your beloved sounds like a wonderful, wonderful man.

    • Thank you! The truth is, I didn’t really need a ring at all, so it was a nice surprise for me. I didn’t really expect one, but I guess we have to do SOMETHING the conventional way so people will know we mean business!

      And yes, he is. A wonderful, wonderful man indeed 🙂

  3. Beautiful ring! Congratulations! I hope you get your dream elopement some day – sounds so wonderful to just not worry about a wedding and go and get married someplace just the two of you.

    I haven’t had any trouble sleeping through the pregnancy until the last few nights, around 2am or so I’m wide awake for a bit. Luckily so far I’ve been able to go back to sleep until 8am 🙂

  4. Congratulations! Gorgeous ring. There is a really great book out there called, “And Baby Makes Three” by John Gottman. It is awesome for reiteration and reminders in the great relationship you already have. Good relationships get better with a baby, I promise. 😀

    • Thank you! I have added the book to my reading list! We are both, actually, super excited. We know there will be giant differences but we also are slowly but surely, preparing!!!

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